Carolina Panther Charles Johnson, who has a $72 million contract, is trying to fly standby

 

This brings me so much unexplainable joy. The Panthers starting defensive end missed his flight from Houston to Charlotte this morning. He spent nearly six hours passing the time by Tweeting and quoting Paula Poundstone.

Woo Myrick: This Week in Charlotte Inanity

In order to be the man, you’ve got to name-drop the man in a one-minute speech on the floor of the House of Representatives. Behold Rep. Sue Myrick, who announced this week that she will not run for reelection. She gave this speech on the floor of the House in 2008, when Ric Flair announced his own retirement from wrestling. She displays her knowledge of the figure-four. She says whooo. She does not mention Space Mountain (commenters do). If you don’t know what Space Mountain means in Flair-speak, please do not ask me to tell you.